so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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