Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
