I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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