Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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