I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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