His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
