wanna go halves on a baby?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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