you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
