***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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