: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
