I seem to have left my pride at pride
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
