there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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