? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
