i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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