Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Holy shit dude........stairs
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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