Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You work out of a Hotel?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
