i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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