I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
