Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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