Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
organizing the empties. That sober.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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