And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize