You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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