Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
