I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
