The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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