How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
please don't ironically join a cult
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