Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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