I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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