Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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