If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He felt like a one man threesome
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
