? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize