Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
