now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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