there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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