She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
