there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
