Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
