Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Let the clothes fall where they may.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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