three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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