Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
