Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
