Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
