i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
