why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
