youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
We were destined to go to rehab together
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
