I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
