absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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