Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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