So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
