Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
what is it with giant penises always finding me
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
