Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
