Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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