if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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