halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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