Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
we made out on top of his cat.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
