when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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