you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
