Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
