Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
