seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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