If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
