I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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